Why I love Bombay.

As I stood accused of crimes ranging from "Misunderstanding auntiejis" to "Being a club blogger only", I pled guilty as charged and in exchange for a community service option of cleaning out Sena Bhavan every evening, I agreed to blog about more serious stuff like my love for Bombay and Pav Bhaji and my hatred for the smell of Juhu Beach in the morning.

So, Milord (or "Yaar Haanar" as Bollywood insists), here goes...(here goeth??)

I love Bombay because I love Bombay's people.

Right from my "bai" who speaks perfect English and calls me Sir as she proceeds to dust the entire dust-mite population of Greater Bombay (Est: 1-2 billion) on to me early on a Sunday morning, to my "watchman" who admonishes me every night as I get home from a club (Baba, Tum itna late aata hai, daddy ko fikar hogee)..

Right from my "autowaala" who lets me pay 1 Re. less if I don't have exact change, to my old Parsi neighbour who never fails to ask me about my long-dead grandfather every evening (Baba, How is Mr. Joshi? Still paining his back?)..

Right from the train "motorman" who crushes someone to death everyday as he strives to get me to town in time, to the BEST conductor whose "Pude chala, pude chala" are the only way I can get to the exit in time for my stop..

Right from the "sandwitchwaala" who knows just how much butter I want on my toast (an artery-clogging lot!) and how much chili flakes (none!), to the "hijda" who accosts me at Bandra signal pawing me and calling me Rajesh Khanna (honestly, do eunuchs not move with time? Rajesh was fashionable in 1970!)..

Right from the "bania" who knows just when we have guests at home based on the number of coconuts I buy, to the barber who throws in a free head massage (With oil Sir? Only 5Rs) after giving me a spiked look (Very fashion Sir! Only 40 Rs)..

Right from my father (Annu) who can quell a riot over the last slice of mango with one clearing of his throat, to my mother (Amma) who can whip up a dosa so light, it's like not even there..

With that milord (or Yaar Haanar, as you wish), I rest..

Random website:
http://www.badindiangirl.com
Are you Nosy Aunty? Or perhaps Pervert Uncle? Check if your sister is a total Payal here..

Music choice:
Punjab - Karunesh